After a reasonable start in January, I stuttered to a halt with my big dream project. I’d been fiddling around the edges of Crazy Happy Gorgeous for well over 2 years and over Christmas I promised myself to make a start in January with a soft launch I felt excited and determined to make a start and to learn as I go.
Perfection is the enemy of innovation and it also pokes it’s tongue out at confidence and action too. Basically Perfection is a playground bully – and in January I stood up to my inner Perfectionist Bully and faced her down – Ninja Luli Stylee.
By the end of February – a few technical issues and a hormonal tsunami left me vulnerable when Perfection turned up with some new mates Scaredy Cat and Inertia. Does this gang sound familiar? I could list a host of reasons why I rambled off course and if you read me elsewhere – you’ll know some of them – but the truth is – there’d be a lot of excuses and you’d feel like someone needed a swift kick up the watussi.
And you’d be right …
So here be me – pondering how to bounce back to the playground after the Perfection Gang gave me a good kicking. I’ve come up with a list of things to do when I feel rubbish. There’s no order to the list, and no necessity to do any of it if you find yourself stuck, fed up and unable to get things done.
However perhaps you might find a little sweet inspiration to figure out a few things for your personal – Gentle Doings list.
1) Head to the yoga mat and spend a little time with some mindful practice. I’m not talking about crazy banana asana here. I just turn up – lie down and start breathing with some mindful intention. Even if I don’t get past this – I feel the beginnings of a re:connection to self and purpose.
Lets face it – when you don’t want to do anything – it’s more often than not because you’ve lost that loving feeling – for your deep sense of self and purpose. So Yoga it is then – a return to the breath!
2) Walk, walk, walk. Go outside and walk briskly. There’s a little common just around the corner from me – with some trees, crows, pigeons and a lot of dogs. I head out before I can even think about making an excuse. Round and round the park I go – where she stops – no one can know. I huff and I puff and I walk and I focus on relaxing my shoulders, moving from my core, lengthening my stride and breathing. No thinking, just walking.
3) Drag out coloured pencils or sharpies and draw. I am terrible at drawing – but this is a gift. I don’t have any expectation of perfection. No where near – so I am instantly liberated from fear – I already know my little stick men will not be ‘art’ worthy. They will march across the page in their weird little, stiff legged way – or clod-hopper about in huge clompy ill fitting boots. IT doesn’t matter, it’s just for fun. When I am stuck and I feel stressed about what I need to achieve. I try to do something just for the hell of it. Or as an old pal would say For the Hallibut!
4) Treat myself to a really good cup of coffee in a cafe. In fact I’m writing this while indulging the particular Gentle Doings action on my list. And Lo and Lah dee diddle – it has worked – for am I note breaking the drought of posting to Crazy Happy Gorgeous by writing a post for CHG? See – s’magic! Find some time to gift yourself some guilt-free ‘LovelyYou’ time. It doesn’t have to be for very long. Just 20 mins without any other distraction. Who knows what will float to the surface?
5) Take a long, cleansing shower. I’m not talking about your usual hop in make a kiss and a promise and rush out again, dragging on your tights over damp skin and cursing your wobbly bits as you stuff them hot and unyielding into your jeans. This shower is a moment out of time. There must be wonderful soap, posh hair goop and luxurious towels for when you emerge. Spend time under the water, mindfully washing away worry and dissolving blocks. Now’s the time to practice some affirmations – anything will do – don’t worry about how to word it – just say/think beautiful things for yourself.
6) Meditate with whatever technique works best for you. I like guided meditations – they help me to keep my busy, fidget brain focused while I journey to inner spaces to relax and be nurtured. But you can engage with whatever floats your relaxation boat. All you need to do is choose a comfortable place, where you won’t be disturbed and sit quietly and mindfully with your breath. You will find calm and clarity and this might be just the ticket to let go of your doubt and fear.
7) Phone a pal. I know – blindingly obvious but you’d be amazed how resistant you are to this when you are feeling off centre. After all we are all busy all projecting our perfect lives into the ether via facebook, twitter, instamakeovergram. We ALL know that’s a crock but we are still seduced. Well I am. I also notice that since the rise of Facebook and email etc – I speak with my friends less in real time. That’s surely the single most isolating thing in our modern busy lives? Unprecedented access to communication tools and yet we are increasingly lonely. Madness. Pick up the phone and talk to someone real. You will both instantly feel better…
I was going to rattle on until I got to 10 and I could add ‘Go Window Shopping’, ‘Write in a Journal’, ‘Do something lovely for someone’ etc – but in fact – I sense that this is enough to be going on with – and these 7 represent the things I have genuinely promised myself I will do while I feel under attack – from my own insecurities.
Along with this little blog entry – I would like to create a new meditation that works in harmony with this idea of being gentle and grounding into a sense of acceptance and guilt free time for ‘you’ and ‘me’. This will need to wait until tomorrow. Now that I have taken my time – and created something – I need to return to some actions pending.
I am going to take a deep breath and practice what I am suggesting. Lets let go of perfection – offer our creations, thoughts and support out into the world without allowing our harshest, inner critics having a pop. So I’m aware that this is sent without a close edit and there’s no colour or illustration and no images. That’s OK – I can add that later.
It is done. It is ready…